Caffeine as Cardio!

Posted on August 11, 2009


I was reading an email I got from Jillian Michaels (okay so not really from her, more like spam from the marketing company that has made her who she is) and then this Facebook conversation happened:

[My Facebook Status] : I have a problem. Well a couple dozen of them: zucchini muffins. I can’t stop eating them, and somebody brought more zucchini in from the garden today.

Me: It is, thus the fact that I’ve just been sitting here reading blogs, watching Sneau nap, and eating (4!!) muffins.
We had said we were going to the gym. HAHAHA! If I drink the rest of my large iced coffee, the caffeine is like exercise. Not at all, but I am saying lies to myself.

Friend: Yes, but the caffeine ups your heart rate, right? And it tastes WAY better than running!
Please note: Friend is a genius. For real. There have been studies. There is scientific evidence to back her up.
Jillian Michaels has a new line of “Supplements” available at GNC. There are three different products (an appetite suppressant, a fat burner, and a cleanse), each with 150-200mg of caffeine or ‘caffeine-like stimulants’ per serving. According to the instructions, you take two servings of each per day, sometimes taking two of the different types of pills at once… So sometimes you’re downing almost 600mg of caffeine, and then doing it again a few hours later. That beats the hell out of the caffeine content in a large iced coffee!

It’s about $90 for the starter kit. God told me I should try it out as an experiment based on the coincidence of the email and the conversation. Okay maybe not God. Maybe my flabby thighs. Either way, I’m now trying to imagine justifying it.

Here are the pros:
Plenty of energy for working out.
Not feeling like I need a nap after work.
Not really needing much sleep at all.
Plenty of time to organize and clean my house.
Really, time and energy for anything and everything.
No more wasting time on sleep!

Um, hello, it will make me skinny.

And the con:
I probably wouldn’t want to drink coffee, and I like coffee.

And the anti-con: