Speaking Massachusetts

Posted on September 17, 2009


I sent directions to a friend who I grew up with in Massachusetts to tell her how to get to my house. I was so pleased with my own wit that I decided to share them in order to illustrate the differences in getting around there vs. in Utah.

Now that I think about it though, in Utah you don’t even NEED directions because the grid system tells you how to get just about everywhere, I could just say my address is “12345 S. 6789 W.” and you could find it. (of course that isn’t my actual address… one. because I’m not dumb enough to post it on the internet and two, do you know where that IS? Outer darkness, pretty much.)

Utah Directions: Find I-15, go north. Take the xxxx South exit, turn right at the bottom of the ramp. Go through a light or two, you will cross xxxxx Street (there is a light there) and go up to the next light which is xxxx Street. Go right on xxxx then left at the next light. After that left, the next light you hit is xxxxx. Go left on xxxxx, then there’s a [landmark] on the left. Pass the [landmark] and [my street] is the third left, it’s xxxx South. My address is xxx, xxxxx house on the left.

Mass Directions: Head north on 15 to xxxx south, then make a right. Keep going til the road ends and make a right, then your first left (there’s a light). Take that road up, then make a left at the [gas] Station, and the third or fourth left is [my street]. If you hit another light you went too far. I’m the xxxx house on the left on [my street] yellowish brick with white shutters and columns. There’s a lamp post by the tree out front. Don’t drive down the hill. If you hit an intersection you went too far.

See, in Mass, you go by landmarks (usually shopping plazas, gas stations, or Dunkin Donuts although the Dunk’s are so prolific they might get confusing and you might need to say “At the second Dunk’s” or something, to clarify) and instead of saying exactly where something is, you simply tell the person how to know that they have passed their destination.

It’s pretty awesome. Me, I’ll stick with the grid, and anyone who misses confusing places can try to do my job for one day in Idaho Falls without a GPS.